10 habits to help you become the best version of yourself by your 30s

by Amy Cai

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The arrival of my 29^th birthday a few months ago prompted a great deal of introspection.

Standing at the end of one decade and the start of another, I found myself reflecting on what it meant to enter my 30s. How far had I come over the past decade and where did I still want to go?

I’ve always thought of my 30s as the decade where I finally ‘figure myself out’.

Not in the sense of having all the answers, but rather in learning to put in the work to become the very best version of myself.

Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way of me working towards this ideal. The anxieties of work and the exhaustion of social events often left my free time feeling drained. As much attention as I’d given to my job and my friends, I had very little time left to work on me.

So, I decided that my 29^th year around the sun would be a year of actively working on building habits that would help me become the person I want to be in my 30s.

I’m starting with 10 simple habits to build by the time I’m 30.

If, like me, you’re also in your late 20s, then I hope these habits will also motivate you into making the most of what is arguably going to be the best decade of our lives.

Habit 1: Setting goals and regular check-ups

No more dwelling on your regrets, and all the things you wish you had done in your 20s.

As we enter our 30s, life is about looking forward and fighting for our dreams.

At the start of the year, I wrote down a list of goals I wanted to accomplish, and laid out the habits that would help me work towards these goals.

Goal setting is actually a really fun and energizing activity – after all, you’re giving priority to the things you want to accomplish, rather than pushing them to the back of your mind once again.

Maybe you want to pick up a new language, finally learn how to dance, or go on a trip to Europe. Think about the things that truly excite you.

Once you’ve set your goals, the real challenge is to check on them regularly.

I’ve found that reviewing my goals at the start of each month is helpful for motivating me to plan out the coming month with a sense of purpose and direction.

Habit 2: Going to therapy

Becoming the best version of you starts with addressing your traumas, insecurities, and anxieties – all the mental roadblocks that hold you back.

I started going to weekly therapy last year and have found this to be the single biggest help in driving my personal development.

My therapist has helped me understand how my mind works, they have set activities and exercises to work through the things my brain finds challenging, and has held me accountable on the areas of my life that I’m working on.

Finding a therapist isn’t easy. It will take a leap of faith, but if there is ever a time to work through your demons, it’s now.

Habit 3: Checking in regularly with family

Our 30s bring a deeper significance to family relationships, particularly with parents and grandparents who are also ageing.

Seeing the wrinkles slowly appearing on my face, I’m conscious that my grandmother is hunching more than she used to, and that my mother has far more white hairs in recent years.

Don’t wait for these signs of mortality appear before you do anything. I encourage you to check in regularly with family, and cherish the conversations you’re still able to have with them.

Habit 4: Making the time to build new relationships

Most of us have close friends consisting of people we’ve known from high school or college. As we have matured, our circle of friends has naturally dwindled over time.

While our close friends are incredibly important relationships we should keep treasuring, it’s also important to cultivate new friendships that can inspire us to think differently or try new experiences.

Some of the best friends I’ve made in recent years were made by choice rather than circumstance. They developed because we recognized the mutual admiration we had for each other, and we valued how the other person inspired us.

Habit 5: Building a consistent exercise routine that excites you

As we age, our bodies become far less forgiving of all the times we chose to skip a workout or have fast food for dinner.

In our 30s, it’s no longer good enough to say that we’ll exercise when we find the time.

Building an incredible next decade means ensuring that our bodies stay active, and that our fitness levels aren’t pushed aside by all of life’s busy commitments.

If you don’t know what to do at the gym, hire a personal trainer for a few sessions and ask them to help you build a routine you can work on.

I have found it hugely helpful to see a trainer every few months to help me change up my workout and keep exercising fun.

If the gym doesn’t excite you, try a few different exercises out through a ClassPass membership. Maybe you’re someone who enjoys being part of a cult movement like Barry’s, or you like the social aspect of going to a Pilates class with a friend.

What’s important is finding something you can commit to doing every week.

Habit 6: Designing an uplifting morning routine

Most of us have likely heard before that a good morning routine is vital to building a productive mindset.

As a big believer in Dr Andrew Huberman’s (from the Huberman Lab Podcast) morning routine, I’ve started going for morning walks within the first hour of waking up each morning, aiming to get as much sun exposure as I can early in the day.

I’ve followed this up with making myself a healthy breakfast, writing down my tasks for each day and listening to some calm and uplifting piano music.

This routine has had a fantastic effect in ensuring I start the day with intention and motivation.

Dr Andrew Huberman also advocates for an ice bath in the morning, which has been found to be extremely effective in elevating dopamine levels. An ice bath is where I draw the line in morning habits…but here’s to hoping that someone reading this succeeds!

Habit 7: Learning how to make more healthy meals

I have always enjoyed going out and exploring new restaurants and bars. For most of my 20s, my partner and I have eaten out at least once or twice every week.

As I enter my 30s, I want to keep up my lifestyle of eating out at new restaurants. But to do this without damaging my health, I will need to ensure that the meals I have on the nights at home are clean and healthy.

My partner and I have thus started to build an arsenal of simple dinners that are tasty and easy to cook.

We’ve worked on mastering a small rotation of recipes, and this has been so effective at taking away the anxiety of deciding what to have for dinner.

It’s also extremely gratifying to know that these meals are earning our nicer dinners, and it helps to make our dinner dates feel extra special.

Habit 8: Investing in a good skincare regime

Rather than purchasing popular products you see on TikTok, speak to dermatologist or aesthetician for their recommendation on what you need for your skin.

Believe it or not, the most effective skincare products tend to be from brands you’ve never heard of before. The products or brands that have been marketed to you are often either far more expensive than they need to be, or simply not that effective.

You don’t need a million beauty products on your shelf, only a few truly good ones.

Wearing sunscreen is consistently one of the most common things people will tell you to do in your 30s. Sun damage is one of the leading causes of ageing that too many of us still continue to underestimate.

As a kid, I would use a tube of zinc or pasty-looking sunscreen my dad had purchased from the supermarket. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found sunscreens that feel better on my skin and work seamlessly with my makeup routine, making it far more joyful to wear makeup.

On top of products, look into treatments performed by dermatologists or aestheticians that can penetrate your skin more deeply than over-the-counter products. I recently started seeing a facialist for chemical peels, which have made an incredible difference to the texture of my skin and my hormonal acne.

Having a good anti-ageing routine in your 30s is an investment that will truly make a difference on your skin in the long run.

Habit 9: Finding time to learn and doing activities that expand your mind

Our 30s welcomes in a new type of ideal many of us want to become – the worldly person who is well-read, knowledgeable and interesting.

To get there, it’s important to find time in our lives that can be regularly dedicated to learning, whether that’s through reading books, listening to podcasts or taking courses.

I re-discovered my love for reading a few years ago, after building a reading routine that has helped me read faster and more deeply.

Reading has helped me get off my phone during down time, and it has reintroduced the act of learning back into my life. I’ve made it a habit to read a non-fiction book every month. In particular, I have spent my time reading non-fiction books that have expanded my thinking and taught me something new.

During times when I am getting a chore or errand done and my full concentration isn’t needed, I’m also now listening to podcasts that motivate or educate me.

In addition, I have dedicated certain days and nights of the week to various activities that have brought new ideas into my life – from painting classes to online writing classes.

Committing time to activities outside of your normal scope of life will expand your horizon, and will also make you a more interesting person.

Habit 10: Building a nighttime routine that prioritizes sleep

Throughout my early to mid-20s, sleep was never a priority for me. In between college assignments, late nights out with friends and the alluring glow of TikTok on my phone at 1am, sleep was always the last thing I wanted to do.

In our 30s, our late nights and all-nighters will have a far greater toll on our health than they did in our 20s.

It is so important to remember that sleep is a critical ingredient to productivity, mental wellbeing and health. Without it, we will age faster, our mental health will suffer and we will struggle to find motivation for all the other goals in our lives.

Now is the time to start working on building a night-time routine that optimizes your sleep. Limit your exposure to blue light and your phone use in the lead-up to your sleep time. If you have trouble quietening your mind, try listening to some soft music or an audiobook.

A restful night’s sleep is the best head start you can give yourself to boost your productivity and motivation levels the next day.

Self growth